the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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