I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
