I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
