Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
