Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
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you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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