OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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