WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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