He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You need Xanax blowdarts
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
