I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
