She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
