Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
