Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize