Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
