Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
