There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
