so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My feet surprised me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
