I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
