Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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