Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
