ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
