i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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