i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
