I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
