Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
