Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
