i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
