the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
