I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
