im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
