making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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