just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
