My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
