Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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