We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
