He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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