I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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