so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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