dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
