Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
