just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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