Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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