I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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