You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
