dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
