Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
