I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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