In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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