I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
