She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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