I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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