Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
