mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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