Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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