Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize