I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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