Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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