who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
