so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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